Prekär/ Precarious

I attended a trade union meeting for "precariously employed" educationalists--like myself. The context was a workshop about the German state employment agency's 2010 budget and the opportunities offered this year.

It was an education in itself to hear the experiences others have had with various contractors. I learned about http://www.mediafon.net/ where one can report and compare experiences. The most important thing was recognising the need for us to do something to help ourselves and raise public awareness about the precariousness of our position. In the hope that we can change things.

I am grateful for the people who have an eye on the developments that affect me. I plan to take action to improve my own position and that of others like me. But life is always precarious. I never truly know how it will go. I can only change myself. Maybe that's enough.

Die neuen Wanderarbeiter sind Pädagogen, die als Honorarkräfte Aufträge von verschiedenen Firmen annehmen. Die Honorare sind selten genug, um die Unsicherheiten und den ständig wechselnden Markt auszugleichen. Viele von uns leben am Rande des Existenzminimums. Kaum jemand hat Einsicht in unserer Realität.

Am vergangenen Freitag sah ich einen Funken Hoffnung. Wir könnten uns zusammenschliessen und Veränderungen durchbringen. Wird das Teil meiner Lebensaufgabe sein?

Ich bin schwach und das Leben ist sehr kurz. Doch wenn es die Aufgabe ist, die sich mir stellt, dann möge ich die Kraft finden, sie anzupacken. Gottseidank für die Menschen, die Augen eröffnen.

Huh?

It was clear what I wanted to write while I was washing the dishes. But something about the computer screen just clears my mind. Is it blank space? Teasing, tempting, enticing, waiting to be filled ...by ME!

Oh holy moment, the breath before the storm, the clatter of the keys.

I love the snow piling up before the house. Why does the city need to clear it away? Perfect white become sandy, tainted, downtrodden, melting away. But sometimes, at night while the snow shovels sleep, it comes again, the white shroud, the furry winter cloak that clings to the branches--and my nose.

Cycles of life, coming and going, me, the snow, the city, the world.
Hugs for Haiti!

Gestern war ich wieder politisch aktiv. Im Deutschen schwirren solch andere Gedanken in meinem Kopf als mir im Englischen möglich sind. Schwerwiegendere. Und doch die Leichtigkeit der anderer Sprache geht nicht verloren.

Es gibt viel zu tun. Habe ich genug Energie und Durchhaltevermögen, um es zu tun? Das werde ich erst wissen, wenn ich soviele Schritte gegangen bin wie ich gehen kann. Welch eine spannende Reise. Gottseidank für alles.

Offline

For two days our Internet service was down. I could have made an effort to get online elsewhere. But I waited. It was interesting to live without the connection that has become so normal one takes it for granted. People who write emails assume I will read them. People who read blogs assume they will be updated.

What would happen if we were put permanently offline? How soon would we recover? What would it take to get back to life and business? I am grateful for the possibilities Internet offers. But am I already too dependent on it?

Ich bin froh, dass ich wieder Online arbeiten kann. Zwei tagelang hat unserer Provider versagt. Gottseidank bin ich nicht darauf angewiesen, um zu überleben. Aber ich kann mir vorstellen, dass andere Leute in Schwierigkeit gerieten, wenn sie mal nicht online arbeiten können. Da sind hunderte von Emails zu bearbeiten, soviel anderes virtuelles Zeug zu erledigen.

Als Spielzeug ist es schön, aber als Geschäftsgrundlage? Und als Weltsystem? Mit etwas Nüchternheit stelle ich fest, wie anfällig alles doch für Störungen ist. Dennoch, überleben werde ich trotzdem, falls ich jemals wieder gezwungen werde, Offline zu arbeiten.

Neuanfang/ Start

A new day, a new class. I am grateful for another opportunity to learn and to grow and to share a bit of what I know. May our class be blessed with happiness and success:
To Eva, Patrick, Winfried, Janat, Katarina, Hannelore, Gesa and Renate. To Carsten and Jean, and to me, too. Hurra!

Ein Neuanfang ist immer spannend. Wie werden sie sein? Was werden wir erreichen? Und wie? Ich weiß, dass der neuer Kurs ganz besonders wird. Auf ein gesegneter Tag, Woche und drei Monate zusammen.

Allen einen guten Montag und Hugs for Haiti!

Media

I am grateful to Kristina Kanaley. I don't know her, but she's coordinating an online course I'm doing. After resisting the flow of social media pressure, I decided to take a dip. I hope to become a small part of it; to contribute and to grow.

I love the peacefulness of the blog. My head gets wrapped around too much information and full of unnecessary noise very easily. But maybe I can let things come and go instead of trying to hold on. You never know unless you try. Best wishes to the world. Hugs for Haiti.

Heute bin ich den Menschen dankbar, die mir beibringen, wie ich mit den neuesten Trends im Internet auskomme. Manchmal kriege ich Bauchschmerzen von all dieser Information, die mir zur Verfügung steht. Ich vermisse die Ruhe. Doch will ich mich dem stellen und lernen damit umzugehen. Vielleicht macht es sogar soviel Spaß wie bloggen. Hurra!

Colleagues/ Kollegin

Simon Marshall of Pilgrims (TM) gave a presentation on being a successful teacher. Tanja Gueckler took me there in her family car. Before that we had fish and mashed potatoes and jello (for my jaw) for lunch with her kids.

It was a day with a difference, spending time with people of like minds and differences, hearing what made them tick. There's a wealth of knowledge and resources at the Verein für Weiterbildung. It's wonderful. And now we're going to observe each other more, to learn from our colleagues when we can. Yay!

Gestern habe ich es genossen, mal ganz woanders zu Mittag zu essen. Die Tochter Marie bereitete Fischstäbchen und Kartoffelpuree vor. Die Mutter zeigte den Kindern, wo ich herkomme. Der eine Junge war dann so vertieft im Weltatlas, er kam zum Nachtisch nicht mehr. Und wir fuhren zusammen hin und her und lernten uns besser kennen.

Informationsfluß und Austausch sind wichtig unter KollegInnen. Es macht das Leben viel schöner.

Pause

Today's one of those days when inspiration is quiet. I respect the pauses. So thanks for this day and whatever it brings. Hugs for Haiti!

Die grosse Quelle der Wahrheit und der Inspiration hat heute Pause. Trotzdem: allen einen schönen, gesegneten Tag.

Wow

It's impossible to put this into words. Amazing things are happening. What's important? I am re-reading A New Earth by Eckart Tolle. It helps me understand what I have to do. Three pieces of advice are helpful:

1. Love what you're doing in the moment.
2. If you can't love what you're doing, accept it totally.
3. When the time comes, allow yourself to be enthused.

Of course there's a whole book of background to that. Check it out, if you're interested. It's really good. The book is transformative. I met a woman who hadn't read the book, but she'd read all the reviews. I understand why. The day I bought the book I felt a physical reaction. Something in me fought against the energy in A New Earth and wanted me to put it back on the shelf. Scary!

Ha! I now know what that was. My advice, forget the reviews. Get the real thing. In every aspect of life, it's worth it.

Eine Neue Erde von Eckhart Tolle hilft mir die momentane Lage (wirtschaftluch, socio-politisch, menschlich, persönlich) besser zu verstehen und meine Rolle darin zu begreifen. Ich staune. Am besten wäre es, wenn alle das Buch lesen würden. Ansonsten, nun ja, ist es auch egal.

Jaws

It's amazing how the swelling persists. I'm sure there's a reason for it. At very least it gives me and friends something to joke about. I wanted to write something else today, but for the life of me can't recall what. Happy day to everyone. Hugs for Haiti!

Die Schwellung geht allmählich zurück, aber ein bißchen bleibt noch. Seit ich aber die Fäden gestern gezogen bekam, fühlt sich alles viel viel besser an. Erstaunlich, was so ein Faden ausmachen kann. Er war schrecklich eng gezogen. Jetzt ist mein Mund sich selber überlassen und die Heilung schreitet brav voran. Hurra!

Krankheitsgewinn

There's no English word I can think of that expresses it quite as well. Yet, every kid who ever faked a stomach ache to stay home from school has a good working knowledge of what it means. Krankheit means sickness, illness or disorder and Gewinn is profit, winnings, good or beneficial aspects of something. Basically Krankheitsgewinn is the brighter side of sickness.

The main beneficiaries are, I hear, the pharmaceutical companies. But hospital workers profit, too, when people get ill. That was one of my main dilemmas as a doctor. How could I endorse health for everyone--without limitations--while dependent on pershons for a job?

I've diversified to make my livelihood independent of other people's suffering as far as I can. Yet I'm still fascinated by sickness; it's my passion. Not for its own sake only, but also for the lessons I learn from my illnesses and other people's stories. And for the miracle of the healing journey. Yay! Thank goodness for healers and healing and all who help in between.

Heute morgen begegnete ich einen Geschäftsmann aus dem Dorf, der mir anfangs sehr behilflich war, bevor ich eine eigene Internetverbindung bekam. Wir begrüssten uns und er fragte, wie es mir ging. Ich erzählte, dass ich gerade vom Zahnarzt kam, und zeigte das dicke Gesicht.

Daraufhin vertieften wir uns in einem Gespräch über sein ähnliches Leiden vor vier Jahren. Zwischen s-Bahn und seinem Ladentür (höchstens 500 Meter) lief das. Für kurze Zeit waren wir auf einer Wellenlänge. Erstaunlich wie das Leiden verbindet. Irgendwie schön, aber kann man auch ohne Leiden so schnell zu solch tiefem Verständnis kommen?

Vision

While everyone's mourning about Haiti and moaning about everything else, I'm tuning in to a much better picture. So bright it brings tears to my eyes. Sure, I've wept for my complicity. I knew Haiti was poor all along. I knew the situation was precarious. I pushed knowledge aside and went on living. Callously. But God knows, it was the only way to stay sane.

I wasn't ready for reality. But I am now. Or getting there. Rapidly. Whee! What a ride! People, do not despair. This phase is passing. And we've got a chance at much better things. Yay!
Thanks to David Riklan whose Selfgrowth videos and newsletter have accelerated my development. He's helping me get set to take on the world. So, roll over, whomever!

Es mag ein wenig grössenwahnsinnig sein, aber plötzlich dämmert's. Ich kann wirklich etwas für die Welt tun. Ich tue es bereits. Es läuft besser als gebuttert. Schwierig ist nur, es nicht ganz auszuplappern bevor die Zeit reif ist. Na ja. Man wird es erfahren. Ha! Ich freue mich so...

Raison d' etre

Pardon my French, but I got it! I found a good reason to blog. Yesterday's theme stayed with me all day. Death is a universal, relevant topic that a lot of people are concerned about, and everybody must face. And I really love it.

I've been close and lost the fear of it. I can introduce my friend Death online and help folks approach it in a more relaxed way. Yay!

It will mean the birth of a new blog. I'm working on it, don't want to be premature (as I was myself). Thank goodness for my mother and her dying song. I'll make a duet of it, go through the steps with her, and anyone else who wants to dance along.

Oh thank you, God! (My agent, source of inspiration and best friend)

Meine Mutters Beschäftigung mit dem Tod hat plötzlich einen Sinn. Wenn man sich ohnehin damit auseinandersetzen muß, wieso nicht mit einem Blog? Ich bereite eine Webseite oder Ähnliches vor, die meine Arbeit in dieser neuen Phase (ich habe mich ziemlich entwickelt seit dieser Blog von sich aus entstand) besser darstellt.

Aber dieser, mein erster Blog, er bleibt bestehen. Vielleicht geht er in die unbezahlte Rente und arbeitet nur ab und zu...Mal sehen. Ich sage rechtzeitig Bescheid, falls Ihr da seid. Schönen Sonntag.

Death/ Tod

Last night, my aunt rang, worried. My mom keeps telling everyone she's dying and wants to see them before she goes. Right. Well, aren't we all? Death is just a symptom of life, albeit the last.

I told Aunt Caroll, it may be true as ma is a bit psychic, but there's nothing I or anyone else can do. Sure, I'll visit her, whenever I can. But I won't drop everything to set up a death watch. Been there, done that and have the scars to prove it.

I will write my mother a real letter, though. Electronic is not substantial enough. I will tell her, that if she's dying, that's fine by me. I won't hold her back.

I may cry, or not, depending on how I feel. But emotions will pass and I'll take care of whatever her death entails. That's it. I'm ready. For her death, or my own.

Life is just a breath. And it's not for me to say when it ends. But until it does, I'm grateful for and make the best use of each breath when it comes. And then one won't. Death is that simple. When we struggle with the concept, we create confusion and stress. Why?

Warum sich mit dem Tod auseinandersetzen bevor er eigentlich da ist? Er kommt ohnehin, ob ich darauf warte, oder nicht. Nichts ist totsicherer. Ist das nicht befreiend? Eine sichere Sache im Leben, worum ich mich überhaupt nicht kümmern muss. Hurra! Wenn doch alles so einfach wäre...

Flu/ Grippe

I read online (probably at http://www.funnywares.com/) that a famous US politician was asked whether he believed a black man would ever be president. Allegedly the man replied "when pigs fly". And what happened around the time of Obama's inauguration?

So, what ever happened to the swine flu? Amazing how it disappeared shortly after the pharmaceutical companies sold off their hastily prepared vaccines to collaborating governments. Some places even made the vaccine obligatory, I heard. Thank goodness I could let that one pass without participating in the mass panic and associated symptoms.

Fear spreads fast nowadays. Sickness, too. I've learned that my mind can create and reject sickness. Fear is one of the worst. Another tough one is stress. I let illness pass through me. If I get a cough, I let it cough. If a jaw swells, that's how it is.

The dentist prescribed antibiotics I'm not sure I needed. But I humoured him and took the pills faithfully--for a change. The antibiotics let my intestinal flora pass through, too--rapid turnover. So I'll set up new colonies with yoghurt and such. Life is constant change. And the medicines we take, an adventure. Thank goodness for painkillers, though. They really helped with the inflammation.

I am grateful for modern pharmaceuticals and the people who produce them. And as for the rest? Well, I have to die somehow. I'm just glad for every moment I live.

Ein ehem. Kollege schickte mir neulich ein Bericht über die fraglichen Praktiken der Pharmakonzerne und die zuständigen Gesundheitsbehörden bzgl. der Schweinegrippe. Und insbesondere bzgl. der rasch entwickleten und aggressiv vermarkten Impfpräparate. Im November hatte mich eine Bekannte gefragt, ob sie ihr Kind impfen lassen soll. Ich habe ihr die Entscheidung nicht abgenommen.

Ich selbst habe nie daran geglaubt, aber Glauben ist der Grundsatz jeglicher Pathologie und jedes Heilmittels. Man kann nur das bekommen, woran man glaubt. Man kann besonders sehr gut das erfahren, wovor man sich fürchtet. Keine Emotion hat eine solch starke Anziehungskraft wie Furcht. So zumindest sehe ich das.

Pharmakonzerne hin und her, ich glaube, dass alles, was existiert, seinen Platz und Berechtigung hat. Sonst gäbe es die Sachen nicht. Und ich glaube, alles verschwindet, wenn es seinen Zweck erfüllt hat. Sobald ich weiss, weshalb dieser Blog existiert, wird es vielleicht nicht mehr nötig sein, es zu schreiben. Bis dann!

Fatface/ Ins Gesicht

My dental surgeon was under stress. I heard it in his lengthy phone call to the previous patient's dentist. He spent a long time excusing himself for the job he'd done. "You'll say he's a great surgeon, but doesn't know much about casting teeth," he concluded, laughing sheepishly.

His confidence was down. Although he touched my shoulder briefly when he got to me, his mind was on the failure before. A couple times someone came in to ask questions about the pictures and the imprints from the case in question.

"This is going to be hard," he promised himself when he looked at the wisdom tooth he had to extract. And so it was. Unfortunately, my mouth was pinned open and I couldn't tell him we could make it easier if he wanted. He struggled and cursed. And just didn't pull hard enough.

I felt the half-hearted attempts, followed by more drilling and wished I could tell him to relax. It was worse for him than it was for me. If I were a better spiritual person, I would have asked him to meditate for a few breaths before he began. Instead, I took it as it came and have the fatface to prove it.

But that's okay. The swelling will go away. And my mouth will be just fine, despite the dental stress. It was just an interesting lesson in how stress and sickness can spread. And I know somehow, I was the source. I am as grateful to him for that lesson as I am for the work on my mouth.

Der Zahnarzt hatte Stress. Da konnte es nicht gut gehen, da er sich schon eingeredet hatte, es wäre schwierig. Beim ersten mal war es besser. Er war besser drauf, hatte nicht dieses geschlagene Gesicht von vornherein. Und mit geöffnetem Mund und gedecktem Gesicht, konnte ich ihn nicht trösten. Was habe ich wohl dieses Mal falsch gemacht?

Nun, es ist vorbei und meine blutunterlaufene Wange glänzt lila unterm linken Auge. Es sieht abenteuerlich aus. Zum Glück habe ich eine Zeit gewählt, wo ich vor meine Fans und die breitere Öffentlichkeit nicht auftreten muss. Es hat Zeit zu heilen. Ich hoffe, der Zahnarzt auch.

Editor/Redaktion

Thank God for great editors. The best ones aren't necessarily those with big names.

There was Elise Revere who accepted my very first story published this side of 21. And the Byline editor who was easy to get along with, or Lisa Trainer who rejected my material in such a sincere, polite way, I had to write and thank her. Angela Cox of Freelance Market News always had a positive, inspiring word. Jenny Shelley of OneUp became a friend. And most recently EW Oates at You & Me astounded me with her rapid processing of my piece. I re-read it yesterday and felt the tender tweaking that made the words just right. The whole essay flowed better thanks to her. It's amazing how one or two tiny things can make a huge difference.

Life doesn't have editors. There are coaches and counsellors galore, but the final edit is mine. I am responsible for what I put into the world. My blog isn't perfect, and neither am I. We're works in progress, developing and growing each day. And the greater purpose and direction? Only the big publisher knows. I just submit in my small way.

Das Leben ist wie ein Schriftstück wo ich selbst sowohl den Inhalt als auch die Schriftstellerin bin.

Wisdom/ Weise?

My impulse is to be still. It's a quiet, reflective moment of aloneness before the world stirs on a dark winter morn. The clacking of my keyboard is a rude intrusion on perfection. I don't hate what I'm doing, but I'm penitent. Who dares to break the silence of the universe?

I do.

Tomorrow I get the last of my wisdom teeth removed. Thank goodness for the dental surgeon and his staff who did a great job last time. Yay! I could use all the wisdom I can get, but my mouth will love the space and the freedom of movement.

Instead of searching for a reason to be, today I just am. I added a chapter to my online story Until Infinity yesterday and one reader wrote back to say the story had given her comfort during a stressful time in her life. Who would have thought? I won't question my reason for writing today. The truth is, I don't know why I do it, but I do.

Es ist immer noch unklar, weshalb ich hier schreibe. Gestern habe ich nach längerer Pause wieder einen Kapitel meinem Textnovel Roman hinzugefügt. Ich wußte nicht, was ich mit der Geschichte machen wollte, denn ich habe das Wettbewerb verloren. Ich hörte auf, um zu überlegen, wie ich nun vorgehen sollte. Gestern machte ich einfach weiter. Da schrieb mir eine Leserin und erklärte, sie habe sich über die Geschichte gefreut, und dass diese ihr während einer schweren Phase ihres Lebens geholfen habe. Sehe da!

Es geschieht nicht zum ersten mal, dass mein Schreiben ungeplant jemandem Mut und Trost spendet. In solchen Augenblicken höre ich auf nach den Gründen meines Tuns zu forschen und tue einfach, weil...

Why/ Warum?

Lately, I've been re-examining my main motivation for blogging. The Thousand Thanks action gave this blog form and purpose, but now that sense of direction is waning. Once you accomplish a goal, its relevance tends to fade. Funny how we keep setting ourselves new ones anyway.

Actually, I could just as easily not blog. But Nancy I. Sanders recommended it. Hope Clarke suggests its indispensible. These are writing experts who know what they're talking about. And they say a writer needs to write daily. The blog has been my committment to writing. But I also feel committed to writing something with purpose, something worthwhile that can help shape, if not change the world. My musing on how much snow fell yesterday won't cut it. But what will?

Today I am grateful to the pioneers who put this valuable tool at my fingertips by inventing the technology of the weblog. Tomorrow I figure out what exactly I want to do with it. Happy day!

Warum sollte ich einen Blog haben? Ich verkaufe nichts, will nichts, macht nichts. Ich blogge (ist das richtig Deutsch?) umd das Bloggen willen. Und wer das lesen soll, weiß ich auch nicht. Doch bin ich dankbar für die Technologie, für den PC, und alles drum und dran. Ich blogge, weil ich kann. Und den tieferen Sinn des Ganzen suche ich mir an einem anderen Tag.

Snow/ Schnee

I am grateful for snow. I grew up in a place without it and can still recall the first winter spent in temperate climes between New Mexico, Detroit and New York; we saw a lot of white. It was even frozen in Florida when we went to Disney World. I had to get a jacket from the Salvation Army because I didn't have the right clothes, nor the extra money to buy them in a regular store.

They say there's a storm coming and we should stock up. Some folks are scared and anxious about the implications. But I'm grateful for the snow, for the way it makes us realise that life has seasons and gently urges us to accept the changes. I love the way a snow-covered street is muffled by a special kind of silence, I love the way the flakes cling to my fingertips and nose when I touch them and decorate my hair like crown jewels. Safe passage to all who travel today.

Ich bin wohl nicht die einzige, die Schnee mag. Sonst wären alle Schlitten nicht aus den Lagern verschwunden. Wir spielen gern als Menschen, wollen aber auch freie Bahn haben überall. Ich wünschte, wir könnten zu Hause bleiben, weniger produktiv werden und mehr ausruhen im Winter wie andere Tiere das tun. Na ja, allen einen schönen Winter trotzdem.

Spirit/ Geistig

Yesterday a spiritual leader from Bhutan blessed our town. He wished that clouds of joy or something like that would encompass the city. A simple word of blessing, but I'm sure I felt the repercussions. A peacefulness surrounded me when I saw his face.

I am grateful to all the spiritual leaders who provide us with guidance and inspiration. Sometimes I wonder if my blog is worth writing. It doesn't have the power that those spiritual leaders have. But it's my contribution to good spirits in the world. When it's most challenging to find something to be grateful for, perhaps that's when gratitude is worth the most.

Heute bedanke ich mich beim spirituellen Vertreter aus Bhutan, der gestern unsere Stadt gesegnet hat. Und bei allen anderen Geistigen, die uns dazu auffordern, über den Alltag hinaus die Bedeutung des Lebens und unserer Existenz zu suchen--und manchmal zu finden, oder zumindest zu erahnen.

Custodial/ Putz

I am grateful for all the people who clean and clear away the rubbish that others leave behind. At all my workplaces and schools, there were faithful souls, seldom seen, working behind the scenes to keep life pleasant for the rest of us. I smiled and chatted with a few of them, but apart from Mrs Plummer from kindergarten days, I hardly knew their names. I'm sorry about that. I wish I could thank each of them personally for the work they did. I also am grateful to the garbage men/ sanitation workers in all the places I've lived who kept me from drowning in refuse. Bless them all!

Gottseidank für die Menschen, die immer wieder saubermachen! Ich schätze ihre Arbeit sehr.

Neighbours/ Nachbarn

In the week before Christmas we found neat little bags of cookies hanging on our door. When the heating guy came by, the man from downstairs let him in. We don't have an awful lot of contact with our neighbours, but what we've had has been good. I'm grateful for good neighbours here and everywhere.

Danke an die Familien, die in unserem Haus leben. Ich freue mich wenn der Kleine unten morgens auf den Weg zum KiTa singt, und muß lächeln, wenn ich die Mädchen gegenüber Klavier üben höre. Besonders gut kennen wir uns nicht, aber dennoch gibt es ein allgemeines Wohlwollen zwischen uns. Gottseidank für gute Nachbarn.

You & Me

Four years ago I was lying in bed waiting to die. Now I've got a story of past suffering published in You & me magazine here:
www.youandmemagazine.com/articles/hypermenorrhea-the-valley-of-the-shadow
Life is seldom what I expect, but it's always wondrously exciting. I don't have any new year's resolutions, just goals and targets that I started defining in November or July. There's nothing new about this year, but it's a chance to keep growing and trekking toward that final destination--wherever that may be. Best wishes to everyone along the way and thanks to E.W. Oates the editor of You & Me for the rapid processing of my submission.

Meine erste Veröffentlichung des Jahres ist ein Artikel darüber, wie ich 2006 beinah gestorben bin. Und jetzt bin ich nicht nur noch da, ich geniesse das Leben in vollen Zügen. Ich bedanke mich bei der Redakteurin EW Oates für die rasche Bearbeitung und Bezahlung des Artikels. Hurra!

Guru

Happy 2010!

Last night we tried the German oracle game with melted lead poured into water. My husband and I both got bizarre shapes. But when we put them together they looked like the alternative energy car we dream of inventing. Okay, so it takes a bit of imagination to come up with something like that, but that's one thing we have no lack of...

Today, I dedicate the blog to my husband, Fan. We're pretty good on our own, but together we're really special. Four years ago, I wished for the perfect partner, a spiritual guru to help me grow. Well, he's nothing like what I imagined he would be, but he helps me grow and challenges me to be a better me. I am grateful for and to him and proud of all we've achieved. We've come a long way and I know it's going to get better. So here's to a wonderful 2010 for everyone.

Er ist kein Dalai Lama oder Krishnamurti, im Gegenteil, oft geht er mir auf den Keks mit seinen nervigen Nörgelereien--falls das Wort existiert. Doch fordert er mich heraus, eine bessere Ehefrau zu werden, geduldiger, liebevoller, positiver. Dank ihm bin ich ein besserer Mensch geworden. Und noch ist es nicht zu Ende. Ich spüre, dass dieses Jahr einige wunderbare Entwicklungen mit sich bringt. Gottseidank für meinen Lebensgefährten und besten Freund: Fan.

Und allerseits ein gesundes gluckliches Jahr 2010!