Vögelgesang/ Bird songs

It's over. And done with. Another ending of a course and the end altogether rocks closer. This time I am touched by apprehension. What am I doing? Where am I going? Is this the right thing?

When doubts assail me, I look back in gratitude at things achieved. And I open my mouth and sing. The songs aren't as clear and sweet as they were when I was younger. They're throaty, husky and slightly off key. But they're my songs.

As I told my profiler, I don't know if birds have superstars and Nobel prizes, but I know their songs brighten my day. And in the silence that follows the chirping, the joy of living deepens.

So I'll cast off my cloak of anxiety and the savour this pause in between. Yay! I still have a heap of stuff to do, unpaid labour, but hey, I do the things I love and learn to love whatever I do. Hugs for Haiti!

Gestern ging schon wieder einen Kurs zu Ende. Diesmal fehlte mir das Hochgefühl. Wehmut war größer. Habe ich genug getan, war es das Richtige? Habe ich erreicht, was ich mir vorgenommen habe? Diesmal wurden die Ziele gen Ende immer verschwommener. Ich wusste nicht, was ich am letzten Tag machen sollte.

Doch haben wir die letzten Stunden mit einem ergiebigen Frühstuck und fruchtbarem Rückblick verbracht. Letzter Zeit habe ich viel zurück geblickt. Wird es an der Zeit die Memoiren zu erfassen? Zwei Leute haben mich aus unterschiedlichen Gründen dazu ermutigt...

Mal sehen. Ich tue was ich tun muß--und kann. Fröhliche Frühlingstage!

Profile/ Profil

Somebody nominated me as a candidate to be profiled in the American West UWC magazine Kaleidescope. What a gas! Ha! Of course, I said yes. I gave the woman responsible some links to my web presences. At least, the ones I know of.

She wrote back to say it still wasn't clear what I do. Ha! I wish I knew!

Trying to explain the essence of yourself is challenging. It's impossible to put into words, but I described some of the bigger limps of my life--and my person--through illustrative stories. There have been some good ones. Heh!

Looking back, and having someone look with you is a treat. It helps me get back to the present (and possible futures) with more oomph. Hugs for Haiti!

Es ist eine Ehre, dass ich dafür nominiert wurde, in unserer Schulzeitschrift als alte Absolventin (und ich meine wirklich alt, wir waren die Pioneere, die erste Generation, bevor die Wände trocken waren--und als die Mauer und Eiserner Vorhang noch standen) vorgestellt zu werden.

Dann stellte ich fest, Ich weiß nicht, was ich bin. Bzw. ich weiß es sehr wohl, aber es ist gar nicht so einfach, das Wesentliche anderen klar zu machen. Am Besten werde ich in kurzen Geschichten beschrieben. Lüstige, verrückte Dinge, die einen kurzen Einblick in meinem sonderbaren Leben erlauben.

Hurra. Ich bin dankbar, dass ich lebe, und dass irgendwer meint, dieses Leben wäre irgendwie interessant genug zum Aufschreiben. Na dann, viel Glück der Verfasserin. Ha!

Fluent/ raus mit der Sprache

One of my former supervisors wrote in a letter of recommendation that I spoke 6 languages fluently. I'm not certain which six he meant. I did have a firm grasp of Spanish, German, Croatian and, of course, English at the time. I had also learned a bit of Polish for the time I spent working in a children's hospital in Krakow.

Ah yes, and I had already begun my eternal struggle with French. But six languages fluently is a bit of an exaggeration. It's not my fault Dr R hadn't checked his facts. The letter is dubiously full of double entendre and has typos--one line refers to me as 'he' which was pretty interesting. I never made use of that reference for serious purposes. Dr R meant well (I think!), but that letter didn't do either of us much of a service.

It did however impress my students. I made copies of old references to show them how it's done. I re-read the letters afterwards, to remind myself of the content.

Those referees didn't know the half of it. Ha! And the letters say a lot more about them than they do about me. But that's okay. It sounds good. And when other people make you sound good, it sounds better than you can ever make yourself sound...Know what I mean?

Oh, and as for the fluency thing, I do make a habit of speaking every language (except English, which I'm sure I stank at when I first began) fluently right from the start. I simply mimic the natives and act as if I know what I'm saying.

I'm pretty good at faking it. The one Chinese insult I know knocks the shoes off anyone Cantonese. And when I tell the French in perfect French that I don't speak French, they invariably glare at me and reply "Of course, you do." Then again, that may just be the French...

HUGS FOR HAITI!!!! (Another good reason to learn French!)

Ob ich das Gelabber von oben auch noch überstze? nay, lohnt sich nicht. Nun soll aber klar gestellt werden, Deutsch ist eine meiner Lieblingssprachen. Sie ist die Sprache meiner Selbstrealisation und fordert mich stets heraus. Hurra! Gottseidank für hervorragende Lehrkräfte!

Disconnect/ Offline

Three computer-free days! Who dares to do that nowadays? I rather enjoyed the abstinence. In fact, I'm thinking of doing it more regularly. Four years ago, I only used my computer to write. I didn't have online access at home. I visited the Internet cafe now and then, when I felt like.

Nobody died from it.

I am reluctant to have a web-based business because the freedom to be offline is more precious than all the money in the world. I don't want constant connection. I am connected anyway. Barbara Wood's Daugther of the Sun, another beatuifully woven tale of hers, mentions that universal connection.

It reminded me that I don't have to follow the crowd. I can find my own way. And I will.
Hugs for Haiti.

Es war erfrischend mal keine E-Mail zu öffnen, keine Blogseite zu pflegen und überhaupt, die Existenz der elektronischen Verbindung eine Weile zu vergesssen. Ich glaube, ich könnte das öfters tun. Frohe Ostern!