The classes I mentioned yesterday got me a "Bleigiessen" set as a farewell gift. It's a German tradition to pour melted lead into water and read the future on New Year's Eve or Christmas. It sounds a bit like reading tea leaves. I love that kind of thing because it gets my fantasy revving. In my heart, however, I know my fate is my own making.
The trainees also gave me a signed group picture. That's precious as my memory is beginning to fade. It's always been a good one, and I still retain more than some people are capable of in their prime. But as I do my thank count, it becomes more and more obvious how many names I've forgotten. If I'm lucky, I recall the faces. The last thing to go are the associated stories. Without a story, a person no longer exists. Which is not necessarily a bad thing.
Today I give thanks for the unknown stories, the shadow faces, the memories that no longer exist. They may be a bigger part of me than I'll ever know. Oh, and I'll get back to counting tomorrow.
Irgendwann mußte es aber gut sein mit der Selbstverwirklichung and Entwicklung, meinte ein Bekannter von mir. Dieser Zustand der Ungewissheit, des sich ständig neu erfinden, müsse doch ein Ende haben, nicht wahr? Da bin ich mir nicht so sicher. Ich ahne, dass es sehr wohl ein lebenlang so laufen könnte, und vielleicht sogar darüber hinaus. Es ist unmöglich, mich an alles und alle zu erinnern, die mir zu dieser Lebzeit geholfen haben. Wahrscheinlich ist mir vieles nicht einmal bewußt. Für dieses grosse Unbekannte bedanke ich mich heute.
Dienstag, 15. Dezember 2009
Montag, 14. Dezember 2009
Adieu
Finally, a really "good" bye.
I've been working for a company where things often end abruptly. I'm accustomed to endings, but these have been harsh, fraught with conflict and unease. "Sometimes you have to take it as it comes," the boss of the company says. And she's right. I get too cushy in my expectation of a predictable life.
Today I ended three classes I've had for over a year. I could probably train them indefinitely. But it wouldn't be right. I have given my best, done what I needed to do. It wasn't just English training. It's about experiencing other people, their stories, their dreams, becoming a thread in their lives for a while. These groups have been a rewarding part of mine. They've made every Monday morning for the past year worthwhile.
Thanks to: Simon, Alide, Jan, Krischan, Nicole, Anja, Mirco, Fabian, Marcel, Niklas, Juliane, Irina, Janine, Jana, Janne, Anika, Nicole, Oliver, Julian, Janina, Julian, Lina, Alex, Frederike, Sandra, Sebastian and Svea, as well as anyone whose name I've forgotten.
Heute unterrichte ich an einer bestimmten Firma zum vorerst letzten Mal. Ich verlasse den Job nicht weil er schlecht ist. Im Gegenteil, alles läuft gerade ganz gut. Eine gute Zeit, die Sache zu beenden. Ich habe das erreicht, wozu ich dort hingegangen bin. Ich liebe die Schweizer Art, Adieu zu sagen. Natürlich ist es Französicher Herkunft, aber die Schweizer sprechen es viel süsser aus: "Addi" sowie sie "Salli" am Anfang einer Begegnung sagen. Auf jeden Fall sicherer als Auf Wiedersehen. Wer weiß, ob wir uns jemals wiedersehen? Aber die anderen in die Hände Gottes übergeben (a Dieu), das finde ich schön.
I've been working for a company where things often end abruptly. I'm accustomed to endings, but these have been harsh, fraught with conflict and unease. "Sometimes you have to take it as it comes," the boss of the company says. And she's right. I get too cushy in my expectation of a predictable life.
Today I ended three classes I've had for over a year. I could probably train them indefinitely. But it wouldn't be right. I have given my best, done what I needed to do. It wasn't just English training. It's about experiencing other people, their stories, their dreams, becoming a thread in their lives for a while. These groups have been a rewarding part of mine. They've made every Monday morning for the past year worthwhile.
Thanks to: Simon, Alide, Jan, Krischan, Nicole, Anja, Mirco, Fabian, Marcel, Niklas, Juliane, Irina, Janine, Jana, Janne, Anika, Nicole, Oliver, Julian, Janina, Julian, Lina, Alex, Frederike, Sandra, Sebastian and Svea, as well as anyone whose name I've forgotten.
Heute unterrichte ich an einer bestimmten Firma zum vorerst letzten Mal. Ich verlasse den Job nicht weil er schlecht ist. Im Gegenteil, alles läuft gerade ganz gut. Eine gute Zeit, die Sache zu beenden. Ich habe das erreicht, wozu ich dort hingegangen bin. Ich liebe die Schweizer Art, Adieu zu sagen. Natürlich ist es Französicher Herkunft, aber die Schweizer sprechen es viel süsser aus: "Addi" sowie sie "Salli" am Anfang einer Begegnung sagen. Auf jeden Fall sicherer als Auf Wiedersehen. Wer weiß, ob wir uns jemals wiedersehen? Aber die anderen in die Hände Gottes übergeben (a Dieu), das finde ich schön.
Sonntag, 13. Dezember 2009
prn/ Gebrauchsanweisung
It was F11 that made my screen jump the other day. It had to be one of 3 choices, F10 to 12 were all in the range of the slipped finger. I tried F11 and my usual screen reappeared. Although I'm not brave enough to experiment with the Fs systematically, I could get a manual and read what the keys are capable of. But I don't need to, yet.
I generally do things prn. That's medical jargon in Latin pro re nata or "as needed". My whole life is based on prn. I don't often judge what's needed with the same criteria as anyone else. That's what makes us unique individuals.
I could easily finish the thank count today. But you know what? It's growing on me. It's what gets me up at 5 am to blog before work. I spring out of bed thinking "Who shall I thank today?" Sometimes, I lie in bed before the alarm goes off, pondering the content of the blog. And I get warm feelings from recalling the good in my life.
Today's blog is dedicated to my clown friend Sean whom I met on the 2003 Patch Adams Healing Tour of Russia. Sean has a powerfully sweet spirit and is one of the best huggers I know. And believe me, I've hugged hundreds, if not thousands; just check my thank count for the evidence. Sean had an accident that impaired his long-term memory. But he phoned me once to announce that he remembered me.
He recalled a moment in a pub in St. Petersburg. I'd gone over to join him as he stood by himself. And we stood there, together until our guide Olga joined us. Then the three of us just stood there in what you could call companionable silence. And two years later, he remembered. Nothing unusual you think, but for him it was special.
Sometimes the most memorable moments are quiet.
Mein Blog ruft mich morgens zum Erwachen und fordert mich auf, den Tag mit Dankbarkeit zu beginnen. Ich kenne schlechtere Wege, einen neuen Tag anzufangen...
I generally do things prn. That's medical jargon in Latin pro re nata or "as needed". My whole life is based on prn. I don't often judge what's needed with the same criteria as anyone else. That's what makes us unique individuals.
I could easily finish the thank count today. But you know what? It's growing on me. It's what gets me up at 5 am to blog before work. I spring out of bed thinking "Who shall I thank today?" Sometimes, I lie in bed before the alarm goes off, pondering the content of the blog. And I get warm feelings from recalling the good in my life.
Today's blog is dedicated to my clown friend Sean whom I met on the 2003 Patch Adams Healing Tour of Russia. Sean has a powerfully sweet spirit and is one of the best huggers I know. And believe me, I've hugged hundreds, if not thousands; just check my thank count for the evidence. Sean had an accident that impaired his long-term memory. But he phoned me once to announce that he remembered me.
He recalled a moment in a pub in St. Petersburg. I'd gone over to join him as he stood by himself. And we stood there, together until our guide Olga joined us. Then the three of us just stood there in what you could call companionable silence. And two years later, he remembered. Nothing unusual you think, but for him it was special.
Sometimes the most memorable moments are quiet.
Mein Blog ruft mich morgens zum Erwachen und fordert mich auf, den Tag mit Dankbarkeit zu beginnen. Ich kenne schlechtere Wege, einen neuen Tag anzufangen...
Samstag, 12. Dezember 2009
Fire!/ Joe Vitale
Wow! Yesterday I doubled my December income with a single tweak of the mind. And I accomplished a financial/ career goal I thought was out of reach: to double my monthly income by the end of the year. Yay!
The guy who helped me do it was Dr Joe Vitale with a free (yes, really!!!) pdf version of his book Attract Money Now which you can get just by asking for it--and giving your email address--Check out his homepage http://www.mrfire.com/ for details. Yay! So today he's usurped all other thoughts of thanks and I just want to tell everybody about him. In fact, I'm going to buy his book for friends/ family because it's more than worth its weight in gold. So big, big thanks to Mr Fire. Whee! (I'll check the count tomorrow).
Falls Ihr Englisch lesen könnt, kann ich das kostenlos (wirklich!!!) angebotenes Buch von Joe Vitale herzlich empfehlen. Es geht nicht nur um Geld, obwohl das als Beispiel benutzt wird. Es geht um spirituelle Verwandlung und war für mich wahnsinnig effektiv. Noch bevor ich das Buch zu Ende las, hatte ich eine Rechnung geschrieben, die mein Dezember Einkommen innert Sekunden, na ja, vielleicht dauerte es ein paar Minuten, verdoppelt hat. Vielleicht funktioniert es nicht immer so rasant, aber mir hat es sofort geholfen. Ich las das Buch an einem Tag durch und werde es jetzt kaufen, obwohl ich das nicht müsste. Ich will es nämlich anderen verschenken.
Hurra!Hurra!
The guy who helped me do it was Dr Joe Vitale with a free (yes, really!!!) pdf version of his book Attract Money Now which you can get just by asking for it--and giving your email address--Check out his homepage http://www.mrfire.com/ for details. Yay! So today he's usurped all other thoughts of thanks and I just want to tell everybody about him. In fact, I'm going to buy his book for friends/ family because it's more than worth its weight in gold. So big, big thanks to Mr Fire. Whee! (I'll check the count tomorrow).
Falls Ihr Englisch lesen könnt, kann ich das kostenlos (wirklich!!!) angebotenes Buch von Joe Vitale herzlich empfehlen. Es geht nicht nur um Geld, obwohl das als Beispiel benutzt wird. Es geht um spirituelle Verwandlung und war für mich wahnsinnig effektiv. Noch bevor ich das Buch zu Ende las, hatte ich eine Rechnung geschrieben, die mein Dezember Einkommen innert Sekunden, na ja, vielleicht dauerte es ein paar Minuten, verdoppelt hat. Vielleicht funktioniert es nicht immer so rasant, aber mir hat es sofort geholfen. Ich las das Buch an einem Tag durch und werde es jetzt kaufen, obwohl ich das nicht müsste. Ich will es nämlich anderen verschenken.
Hurra!Hurra!
Freitag, 11. Dezember 2009
Choices/ Auswahl
People do what they want--and so they should. I'm glad I don't have to deal with anyone else's stuff. We do what is right for us, or the best we can under the circumstances. Even God didn't hinder the working of free will. You know why? Because it's the best way for the optimal result to come out of individual parts. Whatever we do is part of a greater whole and that's how the big plan works. At least that's what occurred to me just now. I could be wrong, but who cares? I'm only responsible for my part. And apparently, my part was to write that bit.
Who to thank today? Big choice, there are so many possibilities. A lump sum thanks to a big group, individual thanks to some special people? How I love choices!
Today I choose a whopper thanks to my mates from UWC. That's about two hundred students from the years 1982-1984 at the UWC in Montezuma. Plus the trickles of ex-UWCers I have met since then. Plus all the teachers and tutors and mentors we had. Plus the alumnae coordinators and the staff who have run the place since I left. Plus all the students who have gone there. Plus all the people who have ever attended a UWC or worked at one since the movement began in the 1960s. Wow. We're looking at tens of thousands here folks. But I'll only count the two hundred I know and love from our precious time together as kids growing into adults.
Als ich 16 war gewann ich ein Stipendium, um auf einer internationalen Schule in den USA zu studieren bzw. die High School dort fertig zu machen. Es hat mein Leben radikal verändert. Aber tut das nicht jeder Schritt? Für jede Sache, die ich mache, gibt es unzählige Varianten, die ich nicht gemacht habe und so zeichnet sich ein Leben aus. Und so funktioniert das ganze Große auch. Wir alle zusammen kreieren unsere gemeinsame Realität.
Schönes Wochenende!
Thank count 516: WHOOPEE!
Who to thank today? Big choice, there are so many possibilities. A lump sum thanks to a big group, individual thanks to some special people? How I love choices!
Today I choose a whopper thanks to my mates from UWC. That's about two hundred students from the years 1982-1984 at the UWC in Montezuma. Plus the trickles of ex-UWCers I have met since then. Plus all the teachers and tutors and mentors we had. Plus the alumnae coordinators and the staff who have run the place since I left. Plus all the students who have gone there. Plus all the people who have ever attended a UWC or worked at one since the movement began in the 1960s. Wow. We're looking at tens of thousands here folks. But I'll only count the two hundred I know and love from our precious time together as kids growing into adults.
Als ich 16 war gewann ich ein Stipendium, um auf einer internationalen Schule in den USA zu studieren bzw. die High School dort fertig zu machen. Es hat mein Leben radikal verändert. Aber tut das nicht jeder Schritt? Für jede Sache, die ich mache, gibt es unzählige Varianten, die ich nicht gemacht habe und so zeichnet sich ein Leben aus. Und so funktioniert das ganze Große auch. Wir alle zusammen kreieren unsere gemeinsame Realität.
Schönes Wochenende!
Thank count 516: WHOOPEE!
Donnerstag, 10. Dezember 2009
Autonomy/ Gestern
The Thank Count is at 287, I think.
I just pressed a key accidentally and my whole computer screen changed. I love and hate when it does that. On the one hand it's amazing that this machine is capable of such fabulous feats. On the other hand, I'm a little uneasy with the speed and autonomy. I don't even know which button it was, a slip of a finger in the F row somewhere and bang! an entirely new screen. Wow!
Anyway, we had a funtastic class yesterday, one of those days when you're exhausted afterwards, but the warm glow in your belly says you've done a great job. Thanks to the trainees in that course: Stefanie, Steffi, Stephan, Irina, Karin, Alex, Harun, Marc, Miriam, Marzia, Nele, Elisabeth, Susanna, Sven, Jürgen, and to Verena, Claudia, and Wiebke who were away. Also thanks to Berit, Axel, Cathrin, Robin, Lutz, Gisela, Joaquin, Martina, Peter, Romanita and Dennis, who passed through the course along the way.
We reached a flow state yesterday. We were discussing negotiations, not my particular strength. But the group brought in resources I could never have imagined, making it a truly valuable discourse on human exchange. The participants took it away. Yay! That kind of autonomy doesn't scare me, it's great! It's what being human is all about.
Gestern habe ich wahre Zusammenarbeit im Klassenzimmer erlebt. Da meine "Studenten" mehr über das Thema wussten als ich, durfte ich etwas dazu lernen, während sie ihre Kompentenzen vorzeigen konnten. Deswegen bezeichne ich mich lieber als Trainerin als Lehrerin. Denn eine Trainerin kann auf die Fähigkeiten der KlientInnen bauen, ohne das Gesicht zu verlieren. Wahrhaftig war es eine wunderbare Sache, die gestern geschah.
PS: Thank count=316.
I just pressed a key accidentally and my whole computer screen changed. I love and hate when it does that. On the one hand it's amazing that this machine is capable of such fabulous feats. On the other hand, I'm a little uneasy with the speed and autonomy. I don't even know which button it was, a slip of a finger in the F row somewhere and bang! an entirely new screen. Wow!
Anyway, we had a funtastic class yesterday, one of those days when you're exhausted afterwards, but the warm glow in your belly says you've done a great job. Thanks to the trainees in that course: Stefanie, Steffi, Stephan, Irina, Karin, Alex, Harun, Marc, Miriam, Marzia, Nele, Elisabeth, Susanna, Sven, Jürgen, and to Verena, Claudia, and Wiebke who were away. Also thanks to Berit, Axel, Cathrin, Robin, Lutz, Gisela, Joaquin, Martina, Peter, Romanita and Dennis, who passed through the course along the way.
We reached a flow state yesterday. We were discussing negotiations, not my particular strength. But the group brought in resources I could never have imagined, making it a truly valuable discourse on human exchange. The participants took it away. Yay! That kind of autonomy doesn't scare me, it's great! It's what being human is all about.
Gestern habe ich wahre Zusammenarbeit im Klassenzimmer erlebt. Da meine "Studenten" mehr über das Thema wussten als ich, durfte ich etwas dazu lernen, während sie ihre Kompentenzen vorzeigen konnten. Deswegen bezeichne ich mich lieber als Trainerin als Lehrerin. Denn eine Trainerin kann auf die Fähigkeiten der KlientInnen bauen, ohne das Gesicht zu verlieren. Wahrhaftig war es eine wunderbare Sache, die gestern geschah.
PS: Thank count=316.
Mittwoch, 9. Dezember 2009
Focus/ Zielstrebig
When you set yourself a goal, your brain comes up with ways to achieve it. Take a simple thing like my thank count. Initially, I worked whimsically, and the thanks dribbled in one by one. But once I decided to finish by the end of this month, my focus changed. I began to think in new categories. Suddenly, I began to recall large groups of people to be grateful for instead of the occasional individual.
It's easier than I thought. There really are thousands of people I can be grateful about. And I have come up with three times as many in the last few days as I did in the three months before I changed my focus.
One very special person I am grateful to is Dr Heribert Wolfe who cared for me when I was a child and inspired me to become a physician, too. He died when I was ten and could not witness how deeply he had impacted my life's direction. Or could he? Bless him. I don't know how many thanks that makes, but today, it doesn't really matter.
Der Schwerpunkt bestimmt, welche Ziele man wie erreicht. Solange ich diese Dankaktion ohne großen Antrieb durchführte, fielen mir auch nur wenige Beispiele ein. Sobald ich mir jedoch vornahm, bis Ende des Jahres damit fertig zu werden, hatte ich plötzlich täglich Hunderte von Menschen auf der Liste. Ich denke nun in anderen Kategorien, um mein neu definiertes Ziel zu erreichen. So kann es auch sonst funktionieren. Doch muß man zuerst glauben, dass etwas überhaupt möglich ist, um es zu verwirklichen.
It's easier than I thought. There really are thousands of people I can be grateful about. And I have come up with three times as many in the last few days as I did in the three months before I changed my focus.
One very special person I am grateful to is Dr Heribert Wolfe who cared for me when I was a child and inspired me to become a physician, too. He died when I was ten and could not witness how deeply he had impacted my life's direction. Or could he? Bless him. I don't know how many thanks that makes, but today, it doesn't really matter.
Der Schwerpunkt bestimmt, welche Ziele man wie erreicht. Solange ich diese Dankaktion ohne großen Antrieb durchführte, fielen mir auch nur wenige Beispiele ein. Sobald ich mir jedoch vornahm, bis Ende des Jahres damit fertig zu werden, hatte ich plötzlich täglich Hunderte von Menschen auf der Liste. Ich denke nun in anderen Kategorien, um mein neu definiertes Ziel zu erreichen. So kann es auch sonst funktionieren. Doch muß man zuerst glauben, dass etwas überhaupt möglich ist, um es zu verwirklichen.
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